Prayer Request

Hi Guys,

Have a prayer request to ask of you. There is a secondary two girl from Chung Cheng who is seeing the school counsellor because she comes from a family that values boys over girls. She is under great stress because she can score 'A's and top the class, and her family will still scold her for not being good enough; of course, her brother can fail his subjects and get away with it.

I burned with anger when I heard this, partly because I knew that this was an evil that society's justice can never touch. But I also felt greatly moved, because I also knew as I heard it that what this girl really needs is God's love, and the family of God to affirm her worth. I don't know if she's saved or not, but let's just pray for God to reveal His love to her in such an obvious way that it will be undeniable that it is God the Father of the Lord Jesus who is showering her with such unreserved love...

Please pray with me...

Something to Laugh/Think About!

"Backward, Christian Soldiers!" (To be sung to the tune of 'Onward, Christian Soldiers!')

Backward Christian soldiers, fleeing from the fight,

With the cross of Jesus, nearly out of sight!

Christ our rightful Master, stands against the foe,

But forward into battle, we are loath to go.

Like a mighty tortoise, moves the Church of God;

Brothers, we are treading, where we've often trod.

We are much divided, many bodies we,

Having different doctrines, not much charity.

Crowns and thorns may perish, kingdoms rise and wane,

But the Church of Jesus, hidden does remain.

Gates of hell should never, 'gainst the Church prevail,

We have Christ's own promise, but think that it will fail.

Sit here, then, ye people, join our useless throng;

Blend with ours, your voices, in a feeble song.

Blessings, ease and comfort, ask from Christ the King.

With our modern thinking, we don't do a thing!

Meditations on Learning

Today I had an encounter with God and came to one conclusion: we never dare to say that we HAVE learnt. We only dare to say that we are still learning.

I guess the conviction set in when I realised that in my listening to God, although I've heard some of these principles many times, there was 3 levels of understanding:

1. When listening, and comprehending;
2. When listening, and doing;
3. When doing becomes a habit, and finally part of us.

Today I had an encounter with God. I had been wondering, especially since yesterday night, why my spirit felt so dry yesterday during church. It only occurred to me when Huilian and Ivan prayed for me for like the 4th or 5th time yesterday, and then I realised that something was blocking, something seemed to be in the way, and the surprising thing was, something I had a lot of difficulty letting go.

So I could feel the power of the Spirit, I could feel the Spirit trying to whack something within me...but I had no idea what it was. And I was quite perplexed, actually.

Today was a heavy day. It would've been, if you felt as if you suddenly 'lost' the Spirit somewhere (that was the feeling, although that's not the fact obviously). But as I came back from the airport, where I was marking scripts:

Suddenly, I felt the stirring of the Spirit.

And as if on impulse, I told the Lord, "I can't help all these people, Lord. I'm just an ordinary church member. You can."

And then suddenly there was a flood of messages from the Lord. And I mean, a FLOOD. The Lord reminded me of all the lessons which I was supposed to have learnt in the past: how is it that "this church is not mine, it's his, and so I'm just a normal church member who just does his best for the Kingdom of God"--I am meant to "surrender this church into the hands of God"; about how "it's not up to us who to save, what to say, who to counsel, but He will put us in the correct time and place to make things happen for him"; about that "this whole SPIRITUAL LIFE, the very existence of our relationship with God, in fact depends more on Him than even us!--we can't even begin to produce this overcoming life even if we wanted to(!); and that "there are no rules in Christianity: only one rule--follow the Spirit".

And "this faith is a repenting faith. Repentance is our greatest gift and our greatest treasure".

If you had been in the Outreach the last few months, you would found all these statements familiar. They were God's lessons to me during those times, and with each of them was such a searing sense of unworthiness meant to remind me that these statements are not born out of "theory" or abstractions. They are only known when we realise that all our formulas for organising life are less than adequate for the perfection of life God has for us.

Sorry if this post seems rather abstract, I'm struggling to make it as concrete as I can. But what was the Lord telling me?

Simply this: I have not learnt as much as I hoped I'd learnt. Yes, the statements are familiar. Yes, it rings a bell. But no, it has not yet become a habit. Surrender, letting go, choosing to abide in the peace of Christ (and not worry about the ministry or school!) is not yet a habit of my life. I will tell you what's the habit--the need to organise, to be in charge, to make things happen; to doubt, to worry, to question; to "MAKE SURE" everything is ok and prepared. But he wants surrender. He wants me to know, to know, to KNOW--that I am not in control of the events of my life. I cannot control things to make it happen the way I want to. I can only surrender to the one who REALLY has control--the Maker of Heaven and Earth, the one who holds time in his hands and who will never ever change. And this cannot be intellectual surrender. How do I know if I have learnt? Only in a crisis. Only when things go suddenly wrong. My instant, unplanned, subconscious reaction is then the clearest answer as to whether I have known or not.

I am very humbled by the Lord. And I repent in dust and ashes.

I realised this is one of the dangers of leadership. As a leader, you try to draw upon your experience to bless others. But sometimes, unwittingly, we reinforce to ourselves that we KNOW. Problem? After a while, we actually believe that we know.

Today I have learnt that I have not known as much as I hoped. But that was my liberation. I have nothing to prove. And I'm not the Messiah. I just do whatever I'm supposed to, to please my Master as much as I can. And to be as obedient as I can. And if I happen to be at the right time, at the right place, with the right giftings, to bless someone else's life, I can rejoice that I was an eyewitness for what the Lord has done.

To God be all the glory. Or as we would say in modern language, "Well done, God!"

P.S.
Let us learn, until God's principles becomes a habit.
Let us learn, until learning becomes a habit.

God bless all of you.

I heard Angels singing :)

Hi everyone,
Just to share the experience that I had. It is definitely not the supper which I had had last night. Haha. I woke up at 6 a.m. just to wake Daniel. Then randomly, I took out my letters to read and arranged them before heading back to bed again.
Then I was in this place (it was either a dream or a vision). A place where Val and I were worshipping God. Suddenly, I heard some voices singing. They are the voices of angels!
I shifted my body and I was like half awake and half asleep but I could not open my eyes. The singing continued, so I listened carefully to what they were singing. Then I finally heard what they were singing…They were singing “Ye Su…Ye Su…” (Jesus in Chinese). I could not remember what they were singing fully but I could remember the tune. It was very, very clear. It was as if the angels are near my ears!
My hair stood on end and I could feel His presence around. I started crying….
Then my alarm rang… it woke me up fully.
Though I am awake now but I know it was not just an ordinary dream (if it was a dream).

– 31 July 09

--Jan